We Play Stuff

Hand Grenade Hacky Sack
http://officegamespot.com/hackysackgame.htm
Ever wanted to play hackey-sack without using your feet? Yeah, I thought so. Well, now you can. The thing is, surprisingly, it sucks. The controls are inconsistent, especially if you're using a laptop. This is because you have to literally drag your character's legs in a direction to make him kick the sack. Unless you have your sensitivity turned to less than zero, your cursor will most likely shoot way out of the game box and render you sackless. Another issue I found with this game is the fact that the button you press to pick the sack up in order to kick it is high on the screen to the right. You have to immediately press then button, then scramble to your legs and try in vain to drag them everywhere, and it just ends up badly. There's too much going on at once, and I find the game in general to be offensive. No reason not to give it a try, though.

1/5

Meat Mansion
http://www.addictinggames.com/meatmansion.html
Another in the long, long, long, long, long, line of escape the house/zombie flash games, Meat Mansion aspires to be everything a scary zombie game should be, and ends up being everything a scary zombie game has been before. You end up in a scary house for one reason or another. You find a gun, which'll help you along the way. The shooting system is better than expected because it's smooth and accurate. You get 8 shots per round in your gun. The problem is, the typical zombie takes 5 shots to kill. This presents a problem, because once again, your gun has 8 shots per round. Essentially this means you have to reload your gun after you kill each zombie, no matter how close to you they're getting. It would've been so simple; 8 bullets per round? 4 bullets per zombie. Another problem I found in my trek through Meat Mansion was the fact that the gun takes forever to reload, which certainly doesn't help your circumstances. The game has all of the cliché spooky stuff: strange background noises, children laughing, women with axes that wanna kill you and say 'Hey!' in a really weird voice. The heartbeat in the background makes the game more tense than it would be without it, but again, it's been done so many times. Whoever made this game wasn't a native English speaker (I'm assuming) due to the many typos, such as "This are very old barrels used for aging wine," and "This containers are filled with body parts!" Once you get about halfway through the game, it starts to get hard. Not the good kind of hard, like challenging, but hard in the way where you just lose track of what to do and wander aimlessly for twenty minutes. This one's definitely not the most fun game, but I had a bit of fun playing it for a while.

3/5