The loop in Madonna's new single, "4 Minutes," is possibly the most annoying loop ever to be looped. Surprisingly, the rest of the album might just be as bad! Dripping with artistic integrity, Hard Candy is sure to be recognized as Madonna's most important to date. She informs us that "You don't have to be beautiful/ To be understood/ You don't have to be rich and famous/ To be good." If there are two things that she has dealt with her whole career, it's not being beautiful, and not being rich and famous.
Composed of mostly regurgitated pop and techno beats, and even at times cashing in on the ghetto-marching band theme that Gwen Stefani popularized with her bananas, we also find her using retro fads like disco strings that have already fallen out of rotation. However, to be fair, Madonna is nearing the big five-oh. How current can we really expect her to be? Speaking of age, the line "If you can handle it, undress me," reminds me of a Gerontology class I once took, where I learned that over 50% of senior citizens have sex at least once a month. Learn something new every day, right? When it comes down to it, 9/10 of these songs are club oriented, with one fantastic racist endeavor, fittingly entitled "Spanish Lesson," which curiously enough begins with the word "Work" repeated seven times. So that's what it takes to be "edgy" nowadays, huh?
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