Guns N' Roses - Chinese Democracy (single)

Once upon a time, Axl Rose was such a badass. He even got arrested at a show once! He threw the mic to the ground and walked off-stage, making rock n' roll history in a time when nothing good happened - the 80's. Lots of dumb shit happened, though, and Guns N' Roses' legacy wilted and fell apart like the second half of their name.

Axl later attempted to revitalize the band with myriad new musicians, with a potential album entitled "Chinese Democracy". After over a decade of waiting for it, many quipped that the album seeing the light of day was as unlikely as China actually becoming a democracy.

Today, though, Axl proved them wrong. The title track from Chinese Democracy is online today, in all its auditory glory.

The song starts out quite ominously with a single note droning in the background, when you start to hear voices. Upon first listen I couldn't tell what they were saying, but after a few attempts I've decided that it's people speaking some form of Chinese, although I can't tell whether it's the actual language, or the infamous Rosie O'Donnell dialect (Ching chong ching!). Next you hear a lame, muted guitar riff, followed by some more guitar that is too crunchy for the year 2008. Also, it sounds like the guitarist kept forgetting what to play, which is funny. Then you realize that it's taken over TEN YEARS for this music to reach the public. Then it becomes kinda sad. Axl comes in with his trademark howl and the song kicks into top gear.

The verses and choruses are entirely predictable and cheesy. Sounds like something that came from the nü-metal era around 2000. And it probably did! The lead-guitarist that replaced Slash (Bucket Head? Or one of the 200 others...) does absolutely nothing to distinguish himself from the huge-haired legend, except electronically alter a few notes in a solo or fill every now and then. Honest to god, you will hear his parts and think that it's Slash.

And then there's Axl's voice. It was one of the main standout factors for Guns N' Roses, and it may be here, too, but for a different reason. He can't hit the notes anymore. He sings an octave lower than he used to. Granted, there is an overriding backing vocals layer during the verses where he sings the high part too, but it's mixed very low. In the parts where he doesn't have himself to accompany himself, his voice sounds stupid. It's low and raspy, not resembling the classic screech at all. It could be anybody, and it sounds dumb.

The lyrics... oh, the lyrics. They consist of some vague, faux-social commentary that actually does not present any discernible argument or point, and on top of that, it has arrived over ten years too late. At this point, the song just sounds like a bad joke about itself. One of the lines is "'Cause it would take a lot more time than you / have got for masturbation". He doesn't even say what would take that much time. China becoming a democracy? I've gotta believe that he just saw the underlying 'ation' suffix rhyme scheme and couldn't resist. Ironically enough, the most used word in the lyrics is "time". He even ends the song by saying, "... and you're out of time!"

Bold words coming from you, Axl.

2/7

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